Goals

I often find myself making New Year Resolutions and by Jan. 2nd I've broken all of them. Whether it was trying to eat healthier or taking a walk every night to reading a book or two a month. I feel as if I've already fallen behind by the 2nd day.

This year is different. I feel as if God is moving me in a totally different direction.  I'm having to sit back and allow Him to work. I know, I know. You're saying 'Duh, AJ. That's what you're suppose to do." But I've been refusing to do it. So, now He has my full attention and I'm here listening.

One word came to my mind a month back when I just felt lonely. I'm an otter, I'm a person who loves being around people. I feed off their energies and I wasn't making as many friends as quickly as I hoped. He wanted me to work on a particular area in my life. Anyhow God spoke to my heart and really placed the word dedication on it. "Oh Big Guy really? Really? You really had to pour some salt on that wound?" "Yes." "Okay then." 

What I began to realize is that I lack dedication. I'm all over the place and often times give up on myself. I don't have an ounce of motivation in me. If someone seriously doesn't drag me into doing something I won't do it. I give up when the going gets tough. Or worst when I don't see the results I wanted right away. I've learned that God wants to challenge me. And He is. Allowing me to be "alone" for awhile as He purges the negative things I've believed about myself for so long. He's replacing them with things like "You can do it!" "You are worth it." "You don't have to do it alone...I've got the strength for you."  Because sadly, I didn't and maybe still quite not believe I can. But I'm going on this journey and trusting in Him each mile I run. Each time my sides or my legs ache, I'm going to trust in Him on this journey.

I originally starting C25K or (Ease to 5K) back in 2010 and did not quite finish it. Since then it's been on and off again with the program. I've made it to week 5 and quit. Now, my goal for this year is to be healthy for me. Which means restarting Weight Watchers. (Because I've gotten into the habit of giving up). I am restarting C25K and currently on week 4 day 2. The new program now goes to week 8 so I have four more weeks to go until I am finish and than begins the ultimate training for the 1/2 marathon in Nashville on April 28th. 13.1 miles. I need to have my mile time down to 10 minutes/mile. A huge goal, but I'm going to accomplish it no matter how slow I run, I'm going to finish it. Because I owe that much to myself. I'm taking back me!

Below is a picture I found on a friend's FB page. I needed to hear this the day that she posted it. Thanks!