Food Fanatic...

Disclaimer: As vulnerable as my post are I know some may laugh at my expense and that's fine and some may root for me and pray for me and that's fine as well. At this point I'm too tired to really care about what everyone else thinks of this journey. I know this is where I am suppose to be. This is where God wants me and that's more important to me.

I love food. Who doesn't? Food has been a way for me to escape. Yes, if you haven't guess I am an emotional eater. I have a horrible habit of turning to food to deal with my emotions. My life hasn't been hard like some, but it hasn't been easy as well. I've dealt with those emotions already. Now it's time for me to do damage control. It's been such a habit that even when I'm bored I eat. I've allowed my weight to get bad and I've gone on little workout kicks and than stop, but never quite reaching my goal weight a healthy one for that matter. My main goal is just to be healthy for me and my family. I know that someday Chris and I want to be parents and I want to be a good example to my children. I want to teach them balance. I know stuffing my face with whatever I can isn't allowing God to deal with the crap He needs to deal with. 

It's amazing how the years can creep up on you. It's amazing how there is so much excess crap that we often carry around. I mean materialistically as Americans we have to have a flat screen in every room. Food beyond food in a cupboard which I guarantee you by next year you will find a can in there that was dated back for this time...a year earlier or maybe 3 years earlier. Outdated stuff. If we are carrying that much excess stuff in our lives thinking we need it; my mind can't even wrap around the fact what kind of emotional, spiritual, mentally, and physical stuff are we carrying? 

Excess weight.

I know as I'm examining my life in all areas it's definitely not easy. Especially with doing something I'm so used to doing. Now I'm leaving it where it needs to be left...at His feet. Honestly, I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of those stupid insecurities about the way I look. It's time to bring those thoughts captive and just let go and let God....easy as it sounds...it's not. I'm constantly reminding myself each day. Writing to a public forum will allow me the accountability that I need. Today is Week 4 Day 3 of C25K. I felt a little discourage on Thursday because my time increased a bit,but I ran further and I didn't quite understand why. But my loving hubby quickly told me and explained to in runners' terms and encouraged my heart. I love him. He has no idea how important he is in my life. I just want to be able to wake up with him and run. Run without feeling the need to stop. Run without feeling like will this ever end. Just run.

Speaking of running...I need to get some breakfast in me...(yes, a healthy breakfast) and prep for our run today. Thanks for reading!