Sorry it almost feels like forever since I've last typed on this blog. About two weeks now! YIKES! Update on the weight loss...I've gained! Since the start of this (Beginning with WW I've lost a total of 10lbs but gained 6lbs back!!!!) I know right? I kind of hit rock bottom. But after this pass weekend. I got to go to NC to visit a dear friend of mine. God just totally blessed me and it was amazing!!! God worked in so many different ways and I can't give Him enough glory for that! Seriously! So, I am restarting the C25K. And you are probably like wait didn't you complete it and I did, but now since we are members of a gym I really want to increase my speed so with that I am going to try to increase my endurance by starting out slow and than I'll be moving on to the Bridge to 10k. I'm pretty excited!!!
So, that's the latest and greatest with what is going on at this end. I'm still trying to eat healthier and exercising more. I'm just trying to be the best me that I can be. Thanks all!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Dedication...Motivation...SAY WHAT?!
I have no idea where to even begin. This week SUCKED! I'm such a procrastinator...lol. I seriously need to say no to some things. This week I CHOPPED ALL MY HAIR OFF. It was my goal weight to myself. - ~10lbs. I'm so thrilled. Plus completed the C25K program. Now all I have left is running 3 30 minute runs and that's it. I am a runner now.
Weigh-in was okay. Since my little monthly friend I gained about 1.6lbs back. YIKES! So, now it's time to get back in the groove and really hit the streets harder than ever. I have a goal I want to reach by the beginning of June. I want to drop at least 20lbs by then. If I lose a ONE pound a week up until June 1 it should lead me at -22lbs gone! But my journey doesn't stop there. I'm still training for that 1/2 marathon. I'm still wanting arms of steel and a butt that can bust some walnuts! Maybe not a butt like that but a booty that is lifted and doesn't have saggy saddles. I just want to be healthy looking.
God has really tested me this week. Dedication and motivation are probably the two things that I REALLY suck at. It's my biggest flaws. I've given up on a lot of things and especially with this cloud of depression/anxiety hoovering over me I feel sometimes I should just give up. But I'm going to keep pressing on. Because I can see the blessing that He is about to give me. So, I'm going through the storm. After all I've got a mighty Savior who is carrying me through and all of you who root me on and love on me. So thank you!
I'm so proud of those of you who are overcoming some of life's difficulties. Whether it be the emotional battle we sometimes face through your weight loss goal I'm so proud of all of you. I'm praying for all of you on your journey. Whether it's finding healing or overcoming fears. I'm praying that the Lord loves on you and encourages your heart to keep going. Many blessings to you all!
Love to you all!~
Weigh-in was okay. Since my little monthly friend I gained about 1.6lbs back. YIKES! So, now it's time to get back in the groove and really hit the streets harder than ever. I have a goal I want to reach by the beginning of June. I want to drop at least 20lbs by then. If I lose a ONE pound a week up until June 1 it should lead me at -22lbs gone! But my journey doesn't stop there. I'm still training for that 1/2 marathon. I'm still wanting arms of steel and a butt that can bust some walnuts! Maybe not a butt like that but a booty that is lifted and doesn't have saggy saddles. I just want to be healthy looking.
God has really tested me this week. Dedication and motivation are probably the two things that I REALLY suck at. It's my biggest flaws. I've given up on a lot of things and especially with this cloud of depression/anxiety hoovering over me I feel sometimes I should just give up. But I'm going to keep pressing on. Because I can see the blessing that He is about to give me. So, I'm going through the storm. After all I've got a mighty Savior who is carrying me through and all of you who root me on and love on me. So thank you!
I'm so proud of those of you who are overcoming some of life's difficulties. Whether it be the emotional battle we sometimes face through your weight loss goal I'm so proud of all of you. I'm praying for all of you on your journey. Whether it's finding healing or overcoming fears. I'm praying that the Lord loves on you and encourages your heart to keep going. Many blessings to you all!
Love to you all!~
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The Battle Within
I'm giving God the glory today because this past Sunday I've completed something I thought I would never be able to complete. I've finished the C25K program. I've got three 30 minute runs to do to build endurance and improve my time, but all in all I've completed it! I am a runner.
Through those mind-bogging 8 weeks I thought for sure I would never even come close to 3 miles. How can I possibly run a full 30 minutes? How can I do it? During that time-frame I feel personally God was purging my heart, pruning me, and dealing with me in general. Your mind is a powerful thing, but it also can be your worst enemy. Often times during my runs waves of doubt would creep up telling me to stop running, telling me I'm not worth it, why am I even trying, etc. etc. But every time I just wanted to stop or give up the Lord would whisper "You've got this baby girl! I'm here running right next to you...just a little bit further. Did I tell you how proud I am that you are doing this? I am so proud of you." Simple words. Simple encouragement, and I know some of you are probably thinking...YOU'RE CRAZY! God said THAT to you...Yes, yes HE DID! And what did I do...I kept going. Even when the cramps on my sides hurt, even when my legs wanted to give out, even when the rain was coming down, I ran my heart out. Through the tears, the pain, I ran.
I mentioned in my previous post how much running was very therapeutic for me. It has allowed me to really take things captive and return them to Christ and what His promise is. And believe me I have felt the wave of pain and in true fashion the enemy doesn't just tease you, he takes it to a different level each time. Running has allowed me to get out of the house when I so badly just want to curl up in my bed and not leave. Running has been for me all about what Christ can do. There have been days probably weeks that I just don't feel like it...last week was such an off, overwhelming, week of hell for me. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. I was constantly on the go and not knowing how to balance it all I completely just lost it. I was in fetal position crying and just bawling. Screaming silently and just praying for it all to just stop. I realized I had hit a very dark place. If any of you don't know I'm struggling. Spiritually, emotionally, mentally...I'm struggling. I've been in pray about this and there have been days that I don't even know what to pray about but scream at God. LOL. I know right...God of all creation and I'm screaming at Him. But He listens and He comforts me in the most amazing way. Showing me grace after grace. His love and mercy just surrounds me and when I'm feeling useless or unworthy, He gently reminds me that I am His inheritance...(Psalm 16:6) "The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed I have a beautiful inheritance." Every time I think of the fact that this huge, sacred, scary, mighty, mind-bogging, creator of all things, God loves me in a way that words can't describe I can't help but cry and fall to my knees. I've been a Christian since 2007. I don't consider myself a mature Christian or a beginner Christian...I'm just a Christian who wants to know more about Him. I have such a hard time sometimes grasping why He loves me this much. I know silly for someone who has been following Christ for a little while, but I still every time think of Him in that way I tear up because I honestly don't think I am worthy of that kind of love, but He thinks so differently of me.
I know God's promise for me. And this year and it's just really the beginning right now, I'm seeing Him really work on me. As a bible study I am taking Beth Moore says "He's building those spiritual muscles so when you go into battle claiming what the enemy has taken from you, you won't let it go so easily. He's building you up preparing you." Whatever that blessing is at the end, whether it be for our children that we don't have yet, I'm thankful. I want to be strong for my kids one day. I want them to know who Christ is and how much He dearly loves them. I want them to honor Him in a mighty way, and I want them to spread that same love to others. Most importantly I just want them to know Him. If anything that they gain from us is that they know the Christ that I know. He's overwhelming, powerful, mighty, love is all that they need. So what I have to say is to the battle...bring it...enemy watch out. I'm a fiesty girl who won't go down without a fight, but I've got someone on my side who sure can do a number on you...so watch out because I'm claiming that blessing that you have stolen. So in your face!
Love to you all!
Through those mind-bogging 8 weeks I thought for sure I would never even come close to 3 miles. How can I possibly run a full 30 minutes? How can I do it? During that time-frame I feel personally God was purging my heart, pruning me, and dealing with me in general. Your mind is a powerful thing, but it also can be your worst enemy. Often times during my runs waves of doubt would creep up telling me to stop running, telling me I'm not worth it, why am I even trying, etc. etc. But every time I just wanted to stop or give up the Lord would whisper "You've got this baby girl! I'm here running right next to you...just a little bit further. Did I tell you how proud I am that you are doing this? I am so proud of you." Simple words. Simple encouragement, and I know some of you are probably thinking...YOU'RE CRAZY! God said THAT to you...Yes, yes HE DID! And what did I do...I kept going. Even when the cramps on my sides hurt, even when my legs wanted to give out, even when the rain was coming down, I ran my heart out. Through the tears, the pain, I ran.
I mentioned in my previous post how much running was very therapeutic for me. It has allowed me to really take things captive and return them to Christ and what His promise is. And believe me I have felt the wave of pain and in true fashion the enemy doesn't just tease you, he takes it to a different level each time. Running has allowed me to get out of the house when I so badly just want to curl up in my bed and not leave. Running has been for me all about what Christ can do. There have been days probably weeks that I just don't feel like it...last week was such an off, overwhelming, week of hell for me. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. I was constantly on the go and not knowing how to balance it all I completely just lost it. I was in fetal position crying and just bawling. Screaming silently and just praying for it all to just stop. I realized I had hit a very dark place. If any of you don't know I'm struggling. Spiritually, emotionally, mentally...I'm struggling. I've been in pray about this and there have been days that I don't even know what to pray about but scream at God. LOL. I know right...God of all creation and I'm screaming at Him. But He listens and He comforts me in the most amazing way. Showing me grace after grace. His love and mercy just surrounds me and when I'm feeling useless or unworthy, He gently reminds me that I am His inheritance...(Psalm 16:6) "The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, indeed I have a beautiful inheritance." Every time I think of the fact that this huge, sacred, scary, mighty, mind-bogging, creator of all things, God loves me in a way that words can't describe I can't help but cry and fall to my knees. I've been a Christian since 2007. I don't consider myself a mature Christian or a beginner Christian...I'm just a Christian who wants to know more about Him. I have such a hard time sometimes grasping why He loves me this much. I know silly for someone who has been following Christ for a little while, but I still every time think of Him in that way I tear up because I honestly don't think I am worthy of that kind of love, but He thinks so differently of me.
I know God's promise for me. And this year and it's just really the beginning right now, I'm seeing Him really work on me. As a bible study I am taking Beth Moore says "He's building those spiritual muscles so when you go into battle claiming what the enemy has taken from you, you won't let it go so easily. He's building you up preparing you." Whatever that blessing is at the end, whether it be for our children that we don't have yet, I'm thankful. I want to be strong for my kids one day. I want them to know who Christ is and how much He dearly loves them. I want them to honor Him in a mighty way, and I want them to spread that same love to others. Most importantly I just want them to know Him. If anything that they gain from us is that they know the Christ that I know. He's overwhelming, powerful, mighty, love is all that they need. So what I have to say is to the battle...bring it...enemy watch out. I'm a fiesty girl who won't go down without a fight, but I've got someone on my side who sure can do a number on you...so watch out because I'm claiming that blessing that you have stolen. So in your face!
Love to you all!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Walk on the Water
As much as this is a journal for my weight loss I'm a strong believer that all things tie together. Your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual state all need to balance. Where one goes hay-wired all will go hay-wired eventually. Give it time and it will. Lately as I've mentioned before have decided to really get myself looked at. Blood work and all that jazz that goes with trying to make sure my numbers are right as Dr. Oz would say.
Since I can remember, I've always been such an anxious person. I think throughout the years it's hard for people to really see "me". They see the happy, go lucky person. The bubbly one. The one that seems to hold it all so well. The one with the smile on her face all the time, but honestly, if you take a deeper look I'm cracking. Running has been so therapeutic for me. I've been told throughout my life that I can't accomplish anything. That it's not worth going out for because I just don't have that motivation, that dedication like the other kids have. So, becomes a pattern of giving up on things because they gotten hard. What is surprises me the most and I believe this is where the Divine Intervention plays is that the strength from the Big Guy upstairs has allowed me to follow through on the program so far. It allows me to feel free. Especially since I've been struggling mentally lately. Thus, explains the Dr.'s appt.
My heart has been so heavy lately. I have my good days and my bad days. There have been more bad days than anything. Days when I don't want to get out of bed or go out to socialize with anyone. But you've got to love God and how He works. Forcing me most days to get out. I'm so glad I have Him to confine in. I don't know how much more I can hang on. Everything just seems so overwhelming lately. But through it all I will give Him the glory. I will praise Him even to my last breath.
Thank you to all who've loved on me and who have supported me through everything. Your words, your prayers have been so awesome and have truly filled my heart. My prayer for you this week is that you reach out to anyone who seems down....seems to themselves...maybe it's the girl at PWOC or at church that seems to have it all together, but you are noticing things about her that don't seem right. Or maybe it's the quiet girl who seems disconnected, or maybe it's yourself. Maybe you have been struggling with something that most people don't know about. I'll be praying that God gives you the wisdom and discernment to see people without their "masks" on. And maybe a kind word or smile or small gesture can really change things around them. Love to you all and Mahalo.
Since I can remember, I've always been such an anxious person. I think throughout the years it's hard for people to really see "me". They see the happy, go lucky person. The bubbly one. The one that seems to hold it all so well. The one with the smile on her face all the time, but honestly, if you take a deeper look I'm cracking. Running has been so therapeutic for me. I've been told throughout my life that I can't accomplish anything. That it's not worth going out for because I just don't have that motivation, that dedication like the other kids have. So, becomes a pattern of giving up on things because they gotten hard. What is surprises me the most and I believe this is where the Divine Intervention plays is that the strength from the Big Guy upstairs has allowed me to follow through on the program so far. It allows me to feel free. Especially since I've been struggling mentally lately. Thus, explains the Dr.'s appt.
My heart has been so heavy lately. I have my good days and my bad days. There have been more bad days than anything. Days when I don't want to get out of bed or go out to socialize with anyone. But you've got to love God and how He works. Forcing me most days to get out. I'm so glad I have Him to confine in. I don't know how much more I can hang on. Everything just seems so overwhelming lately. But through it all I will give Him the glory. I will praise Him even to my last breath.
Thank you to all who've loved on me and who have supported me through everything. Your words, your prayers have been so awesome and have truly filled my heart. My prayer for you this week is that you reach out to anyone who seems down....seems to themselves...maybe it's the girl at PWOC or at church that seems to have it all together, but you are noticing things about her that don't seem right. Or maybe it's the quiet girl who seems disconnected, or maybe it's yourself. Maybe you have been struggling with something that most people don't know about. I'll be praying that God gives you the wisdom and discernment to see people without their "masks" on. And maybe a kind word or smile or small gesture can really change things around them. Love to you all and Mahalo.
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