Walk on the Water

As much as this is a journal for my weight loss I'm a strong believer that all things tie together. Your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual state all need to balance. Where one goes hay-wired all will go hay-wired eventually. Give it time and it will. Lately as I've mentioned before have decided to really get myself looked at. Blood work and all that jazz that goes with trying to make sure my numbers are right as Dr. Oz would say. 

Since I can remember, I've always been such an anxious person. I think throughout the years it's hard for people to really see "me". They see the happy, go lucky person. The bubbly one. The one that seems to hold it all so well. The one with the smile on her face all the time, but honestly, if you take a deeper look I'm cracking. Running has been so therapeutic for me. I've been told throughout my life that I can't accomplish anything. That it's not worth going out for because I just don't have that motivation, that dedication like the other kids have. So, becomes a pattern of giving up on things because they gotten hard. What is surprises me the most and I believe this is where the Divine Intervention plays is that the strength from the Big Guy upstairs has allowed me to follow through on the program so far. It allows me to feel free. Especially since I've been struggling mentally lately. Thus, explains the Dr.'s appt. 

My heart has been so heavy lately. I have my good days and my bad days. There have been more bad days than anything. Days when I don't want to get out of bed or go out to socialize with anyone. But you've got to love God and how He works. Forcing me most days to get out. I'm so glad I have Him to confine in. I don't know how much more I can hang on. Everything just seems so overwhelming lately. But through it all I will give Him the glory. I will praise Him even to my last breath.  

Thank you to all who've loved on me and who have supported me through everything. Your words, your prayers have been so awesome and have truly filled my heart. My prayer for you this week is that you reach out to anyone who seems down....seems to themselves...maybe it's the girl at PWOC or at church that seems to have it all together, but you are noticing things about her that don't seem right. Or maybe it's the quiet girl who seems disconnected, or maybe it's yourself. Maybe you have been struggling with something that most people don't know about. I'll be praying that God gives you the wisdom and discernment to see people without their "masks" on. And maybe a kind word or smile or small gesture can really change things around them. Love to you all and Mahalo.